Are you a technosexual?

I've always been baffled as to why so many people were so enamored with the Apple Mac and iPod, but now I've found the answer: I'm not a technosexual. According to the Wikipedia, a technosexual is:

A person (usually a male) with a strong aesthetic sense and a love of gadgets. In this sense, it is a portmanteau word combining "technophile" and "metrosexual", which was first promoted by creative professional Ricky Montalvo^[1] to describe "a dandyish narcissist in love with not only himself, but also his urban lifestyle and gadgets; a straight man who is in touch with his feminine side but has fondness for electronics such as cell phones, PDAs, computers, software, and the web."^[2]

I have absolutely zero aesthetic sense or even tolerance of aesthetics and I am usually offended by much of what is passed as "aesthetics" and the thought that people should be forced to pay extra for it, and I am attracted to gadgets only if and when they have significant utility for me. Mere mention of the word "style" makes me cringe. I have only two devices, this two-year old notebook PC and a five-year old Sony/Palm PDA. They work for me, they perform useful functions, so I keep them. I don't even have a cell phone (actually, I have a work phone, but usually it stays hidden away in my backpack) or a wristwatch or TV or DVR. For the most part, I consider devices to be an annoyance and certainly not an object of "desire." I frequently "fantasize" about replacing my PDA with a stack of 3x5 index cards and I cringe at the thought of lugging even a lightweight notebook computer around.

I am definitely not a "technosexual" and most certainly am not attracted to whatever they might be attracted to.

Sigh. (That's a sigh of exasperation, not desire!)

At least I now know the name of this insidious form of dysfunctionality.

My apologies to the technosexuals of the world: you're just not my type.

-- Jack Krupansky